Reflections / Forward Looking
Upon reflection 2018 has been amazing and life changing.
2018 is chock full of healing, growth (that is always the case), friends and family. I am fortunate to have amazing people in my life who support me no matter what. I need them to live life fully.
As I worked through the 12-steps around my eating my eyes were opened about why I am not able to stop eating poorly, and am therefore, feeding my Mold Infection.
This must stop. I cannot be of service to others when I am sick.
It is clear to me that I cannot continue on as I have and expect to get better physically, mentally and emotionally.
My life today is full of interruptions, adjustments and various tasks that may or may not be helpful.
While my initial response to this is that I "should" be able to handle life as it is and not have to overturn the boat, that isn't my reality. Do I wish I could be a better person in this area? Of course. Who I am, at the core, prevents me from being able to accomplish this goal without costly, negative affects on me personally.
After trying a number of years, I think it's okay to say that I've done my best. "Should" is for those of us who are still learning how to really take care of ourselves. I know, I used it for a long time. "Should" is in my past.
I am, at heart, a selfish person and always have been. Today I give to others as much as possible and need to be selfish in my home life in order to properly take care of myself and continue to move forward as I am tasked to.
This type of big change happened once before in 2013. I am a much better person for it today. I know the outcome will be just as amazing this time.
2019 is going to be a fantastical year full of new opportunities to take better care of myself and to arrange my life to be of more service than I am able to today.
2019 is going to be about getting my service work out to the world so that as many people as possible can benefit.
In order to have success in this area, it needs to be about healing myself - working out and sauna-ing as much as possible, eating well and creating a schedule with limited last-minute changes.
Somebody asked me recently "what qualified me" to be an individual who, at this point in life, is here to help others.
I responded, "when our house is in order, they will come." In other words, when I am qualified the people who need my help show up. This began about five (5) years ago - people who needed my help started showing up.
Those of you who know me personally will most likely see the changes I am alluding to here over the next year. The rest of you will hear some snippets and hear about the challenges and the positive changes!
Thank you for reading my blog over the last six months. I hope it has been helpful.
Until 2019!
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